20 SECRETS FROM A LIFE OF LOVE
In December, my parents celebrated their 26th Wedding Anniversary. On my Instagram, a few of you asked questions and today, they’re answering!! Here’s the knowledge and wisdom of 26 years of marriage wrapped into 20 questions!
1. How did you meet?
Alfredo: After a 31 day liquid fast the Lord revealed to me that Perla was going to be my wife.
Perla: I met him at church serving. He was from another city and one day he invited me and the youth group to go out. We started hanging out on Fridays after the meeting in large groups and that’s when we became friends.
2. Was it easy for your dad, considering your mom was a Pastor’s daughter?
Perla: God had revealed my name to Alfredo and told him I was going to be his wife. Although it wasn’t easy, he was calm and very sure of himself because of what God had spoken to him. He didn’t rush or push things. Actually, we were friends for a while. I think it must’ve been a challenge for him because he was new in church and every church has its own status quo. But because he had a revelation, he persevered and God gave him the miracle.
3. What advice would you give young people?
Perla: In regards to marriage, you need to be very sure that the person you are going to be joined with is a godly person. My advice would be to not rush things. It’s better to take it slow and truly know who the other person is, than to rush and have to suffer the consequences.
4. Is the confirmation that it is the right person complete peace in your heart?
Perla: It’s one of the signs; I had to have my parents’ approval, as well as my pastors’. I wanted a man who wanted to serve God with me. I’d say it’s the combination of all these things.
5. What is your #1 tip for a happy marriage?
Alfredo: Serve one another.
6. How do you make love last?
Alfredo: Love is like wine that is put into a warehouse to age. In the beginning, you don’t really love each other. The first part of marriage is a revolution of emotions and hormones. But as time goes by, you remember the vows you made, “I will be with you in sickness and in health, when you have something, and when you have nothing”. In the hardest trials, Perla was with me. When I didn’t even like myself, she stood by me. And I did the same with her. And as the years went by, just like fine wine, our love became more valuable. That is why I can say that Perla loves me and I love her, because together we have endured the most difficult moments.
Perla: When you fall in love, love is hearts, butterflies and all of that. But as time goes by, love becomes more about taking care of the other person, respecting the other person. I think the secret to get there is to not have bitterness in the heart, forgive every day, and learn to give in and if the other has a better idea than yours, let them carry it out.
7. How did you keep this incredible relationship look like it was just yesterday?
Alfredo: For me, the secret is in Matthew 18:19 that says, “If two of you agree on earth concerning anything, it will be done by My Father in Heaven“. With Perla, we never impose one another on the other. We go on a date, create a beautiful ambiance, and deal with the issues there. There, we deactivate the bombs and come to an agreement. In order to reach an agreement, you need to give in, and that’s what truly strengthened our relationship.
Perla: Alfredo is so funny! I’m more of a structured “inside the box” person, but he always takes me to pray more, try new things, etc. He has kept our relationship fresh and interesting.
8. How’d you do it? I am struggling with jealousy for my husband.
Alfredo: Jealousy is a demon that preaches. Like it says in 1 Thessalonians 5, when they are one not only in body and soul, but also in spirit, no demon, no jealousy can touch the mind because there is security and peace in the relationship.
9. Have you ever regretted getting married?
Perla: Never, not even in the most difficult moments; I had said I was marrying him for the rest of my life. We never spoke of divorce or separating. Even though we lived hard times, we never accepted that thought because we were sure we were made for each other.
10. What characteristic of the fruit of the Holy Spirit is most evident in each of you?
Perla: I think in Alfredo faith! In me, I’d say, love or patience.
11. Did you serve the Lord when you met, or did you start serving after?
Alfredo: Yes, we both served the Lord. (Nadia’s note: My dad had been working 2 years with about 80 families who lived under a bridge in the streets of Buenos Aires, and my mom had been in church her whole life.)
12. How did you build your life and marriage together on the Rock?
Perla: We never missed churched. We never ever everrr stopped serving God. Whether we had money or not, had strength or not, we never stopped because serving God keeps you seeking Him and the Word. And that is how we built our house on the Rock like Matthew 7 says.
13. What is the secret to remain serving God together?
Perla: Like the Word says, “When two walk together, if one falls, the other picks him up”. God was good in making sure we never fell together. Motivating each other we’ve been able to serve God. When you know there is a calling, you can’t live doing anything else but that.
14. Is there a specific thing you do to go to the next level as a couple?
Perla: Yes, seeking God more intensely; wanting more and seeking God more. But sometimes, before a great outpouring of anointing there is a big giant, like David. He was called king after he defeated the giant; sometimes there are giants that need to be defeated in order to go to the next level.
15. What’s your advice to a newly married couple who serve God and participate in the Vision?
Perla: My advice is don’t make a big deal out of everything. I used to make a big deal about the potatoes, the socks, about the fact that I only fill my cup with coffee half way and he likes it to the brim. I look back and I fought for such silly things. Go on, let go. We all come with our own cultures from our homes, but you have to understand you need to build a new culture with your spouse, half and half. Don’t worry and be happy!
16. What has been your greatest challenge as parents?
Perla: I think our greatest challenge was guarding our kids’ hearts when we were living difficult moments. We believed that you did not need to be affected by the financial circumstance, family issues or the circumstances that every family lives. (Danny’s note: Thank you for guarding us at school, from all the bad things that were there. I didn’t always like it, but THANK YOU for guarding us from the incorrect places and people.)
17. What took you to Colombia?
Perla: God’s call for our lives and a phone call from our pastor.
18. How did you adapt to Colombia in regards to culture, food, etc.?
Alfredo: When we left the US, we renounced to being there. When we arrived to Colombia, as soon as we got off the plane we declared, “We love Colombia, we love this land. If God brought us here, we need to love it”.
19. What do you love most about Colombia?
Alfredo: The people. The geography, in a radius that is not too big there is cold weather, warm weather, it’s very neat. The different kinds of food. Everything is very beautiful.
20. What’s your favorite thing about each other?
Alfredo: If I had to describe my wife in one word it’d be this: there are no words to describe a woman as beautiful and wise as my Perla.
Perla: His faith! No matter what the enemy through at us, he always believed we could conquer it, and that’s how it’s been for 26 years.
Alfredo and Doris Mora